


You came back

by Taeyn



Series: a lot of explosions for two people blending in [5]
Category: Rogue One: A Star Wars Story (2016)
Genre: F/M, Hurt/Comfort, Love Confession, Protectiveness, Rebelcaptainmay4
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-04
Updated: 2017-05-04
Packaged: 2018-10-28 00:42:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,202
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10820151
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Taeyn/pseuds/Taeyn
Summary: It is completely, utterly the opposite of what Cassian wants to say.Because it’s true.And he already almost lost her once today.





	You came back

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Ivaylo](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ivaylo/gifts).



> for @crazy-fruit, wishing you an amazing and fantastic Star Wars day!! I enjoyed writing your prompts (I chose both.. :’’) so much, as well as admiring all your lovely art along the way! I really hope that you enjoy this gift and may the force be with you! <3

Cassian stumbles into what’s become their shared quarters, Jyn halts her pacing at the edge of his bunk. He doesn’t know what he expected.

But this isn’t it.

“How dare you,” Jyn whispers, the sound hissed through her teeth. The silence that follows stings raw and bright. Cassian grips into the doorframe, to stand upright or stop himself from running to her he isn’t sure.

“You’re safe,” Cassian manages, the words parched and clumsy, viciously inadequate. He doesn’t say he’s dragged himself from Medbay, that it took four droids to hold him down when she wasn’t there. That he wept with relief when he saw the bandage round his middle.

Because for a single, splintering second, the one just before he came-to.

Cassian thought it had been her.

He sees a tear glaze the corner of Jyn’s eye. It tremors as she blinks, his head twitches before he can quash the reflex.

_No._

His jaw clenches, voice prickles to ash in his throat.

_Not for me._

Jyn cuts her stare aside, her smile gritted and trembling. She can’t halt the tear’s path down her cheek, won’t let him see her brush it away.

“ _You,_ ” she chokes again, the heat of it sends a welt through his stomach. “Are supposed to know what you’re doing. _You’re_ the one in charge.”

“I knew what I was doing,” Cassian snarls. It feels like a misstep, too quick and too harsh, he can’t find his footing when Jyn’s glare pins him to the wall. He takes another breath, but the words only spit out fiercer.

 _“I was protecting you_. _”_

It is completely, utterly the opposite of what Cassian wants to say.

Because it’s true.

And he already almost lost her once today.

“That’s only the entire reason I’m-” Jyn cuts herself off, whips to her feet. “Do you have any idea of how reckless you were? Or what you’d say to anyone else on the team, if they ever went back for _you?”_

“They wouldn’t have had to,” Cassian barks, the force of it wrenches through the wound. He’s too stirred up to heed, pushes forward like she’s still out there.

Like he’s still searching.

_“-because I damn well wouldn’t have been there.”_

Jyn flinches in anger, her lip curls before she can swallow. She’s every bit the soldier he isn’t, the one who doesn’t leave a man behind. She’s the Partisan the other rebels talk about in whispers, can’t hear what answers she’ll give. And she’s every bit her father.

Who doesn’t nod because someone told her to.

Even if that person is her Captain.

_“You were supposed to meet us at the ship, Jyn.”_

His whisper is terse, the grit of it risen beyond his control. His hands are shaking, he can still feel the space where his commlink fell dead and silent. The moment K-2 stopped relaying the time check.

Because they both know it’s passed.

They both know she’s not coming back.

“I wasn’t at the ship,” Jyn answers, and her tone has fallen dangerously low, “because I was being _watched_. And until I could figure out how, or what-”

“So you decided to remain in a hot zone, surrounded, _make no contact with-_ ”

He’s yelling now, his voice rakes hoarse in his windpipe. Jyn doesn’t stand down an inch, she’s close enough that Cassian sees the flecks of amber in her eyes. The line of her mouth hardens, and he’s past telling himself he should stop. He wants to hold her, he wants to transfer her off the team for good.

He wants to feel her heart beating and know that today wasn’t the day.

“If it means keeping them from you, then yes,” Jyn shouts. “If it means taking a blaster bolt, then yes to that too. And if you hadn’t stupidly, _stupidly_ -”

“I’d do it again, Jyn,” he snaps, furious, it escapes him before he can help it. Jyn clenches both fists, her shoulders lift with an inhale. Her eyes widen, dark with hurt.

It’s the same expression he saw before he hit the gravel.

“How can you-”

 _“Because I love you,_ ” Cassian hisses, sucks a shuddering breath. The echo of it burns his eyes wet, his mouth grimaces ajar. There’s so much more he wants to say, _needs_ to say-

There’s so much more he should have said.

Before it was almost too late.

And now there’s only-

“-and I’m so sorry,” Cassian manages, wavers on the sharper edge of a tremor. He swallows it, but Jyn’s face has already crumpled, and the bite of knowing that’s on _him_ rakes hollow through his chest.

This isn’t how he meant it, any of it, and he grapples behind him for the hold that isn’t there.

“Jyn, I’m-”

“Stop talking,” Jyn whispers, darts her arms round his waist as he buckles. She steadies him- for the first time he realises he’s shivering violently- her grip is strong and close and her cheek presses damp into his.

“Shush,” she falters again, her palm snares unthinking at his jaw.

He can still feel the brush of her fingertips as she realises, just as quickly pulls away.

“I’m so, so angry at you-”

“-I’m so angry at you too,” Cassian mutters roughly, catches her hand to his chest. He squeezes tight, this time she doesn’t let go. His hair drips sweat into his eyes and he’s staring, stricken, his throat is dry and torn.

“ _So_ angry.” Jyn glares, her knuckles go white as she squeezes his hand back. Cassian knows she means every bit of it, he’s not ready to forgive her for almost-dying either.

He’s still sorry.

He still loves her.

And then she’s there, and he’s falling, her mouth grazes warm against his. Her fingers knot in his hair and she pulls, eyebrows tensed and her nose squashed against his cheek. Just for a second, Jyn’s eyelids flicker closed- and Jyn never closes her eyes- and Cassian feels his whole world tangle and shatter and flare back to one.

“-because I love you too,” Jyn says softly. His hands cage to her cheeks, hers tremble at the small of his spine. His lips fall ajar as he tries to breathe. It barely works, his inhale crackles through his chest and he blinks, can’t brook the tear that traces to his jaw.

“Jyn,” he murmurs, reaches for all he has to tell her, stumbles like he’s trying to say _don’t_.

She hears it anyway, her mouth twitches at the corner. Jyn never did take his bad advice.

“I’m going to kiss you again now,” she whispers, their fingers weave and he’s no longer shivering. Tender and needful, a low, aching sound escapes him as her lips part into his, her exhale dances on his cheek. Jyn slowly pushes deeper into the kiss, Cassian’s hands clutch the fabric of her shirt. He can feel her teeth on his lower lip, gentle, mouth wet as Jyn tugs, his limbs heavy as he leans into her embrace.

There’s no more space between them, Jyn’s careful not to press the bandage.

Cassian grips fiercely in spite of it, her smile blurs against his lips.

He’d do it again in a heartbeat.

He’ll come back every time.

-


End file.
